I always wondered if my twins would have that special bond that some twins seem to have—that emotional connection that goes beyond most sibling relationships. Because my twins are fraternal, I had my doubts that they would share this bond. After all, they’re just like any other siblings except they happened to share a womb and be born on the same day. They don’t share the same genes as identical twins do. And, indeed, they are very different. Both have blond hair and blue eyes, but the physical resemblance ends there. Their features are entirely different. And their personalities are unique, as well.
And indeed, for the first few years of their lives, I didn’t see any evidence of a twin bond. But now that they’re almost three, I’m suddenly seeing signs of its development! For instance, Caleb wasn’t sleeping well when his bed was on one side of the room and his brother’s bed was on the other side. Five nights in a row, we found Caleb sleeping with his brother in his little toddler bed, the two of them entwined together. So we moved their beds side-by-side. Amazingly, they went right to sleep in their own beds and slept beautifully. Apparently, they just needed to be closer together.
The other day, I kept Caleb home from preschool because he had a cold. At first, he was fine and seemed to enjoy his “alone time” with me, but after a few hours he started saying, “I want my Austen. I want my Austen!” It obvious he was feeling lonely without his twin around, and he was overjoyed when they were together again.
Some parents worry that multiples can be “too close.” If twins only want to be together to the exclusion of cultivating other friendships, this may be a valid concern. But in my boys’ case, I’m thrilled to see signs of this twin bond developing. Wouldn’t it be great if all siblings could share this special relationship? What a wonderful gift to grow up with your best friend by your side!
About Susan Heim
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