Twins’ Special Bond

I always wondered if my twins would have that special bond that some twins seem to have—that emotional connection that goes beyond most sibling relationships. Because my twins are fraternal, I had my doubts that they would share this bond. After all, they’re just like any other siblings except they happened to share a womb and be born on the same day. They don’t share the same genes as identical twins do. And, indeed, they are very different. Both have blond hair and blue eyes, but the physical resemblance ends there. Their features are entirely different. And their personalities are unique, as well.

And indeed, for the first few years of their lives, I didn’t see any evidence of a twin bond. But now that they’re almost three, I’m suddenly seeing signs of its development! For instance, Caleb wasn’t sleeping well when his bed was on one side of the room and his brother’s bed was on the other side. Five nights in a row, we found Caleb sleeping with his brother in his little toddler bed, the two of them entwined together. So we moved their beds side-by-side. Amazingly, they went right to sleep in their own beds and slept beautifully. Apparently, they just needed to be closer together.

The other day, I kept Caleb home from preschool because he had a cold. At first, he was fine and seemed to enjoy his “alone time” with me, but after a few hours he started saying, “I want my Austen. I want my Austen!” It obvious he was feeling lonely without his twin around, and he was overjoyed when they were together again.

Some parents worry that multiples can be “too close.” If twins only want to be together to the exclusion of cultivating other friendships, this may be a valid concern. But in my boys’ case, I’m thrilled to see signs of this twin bond developing. Wouldn’t it be great if all siblings could share this special relationship? What a wonderful gift to grow up with your best friend by your side!

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About Susan Heim

Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in multiples, parenting, women’s and Christian issues. Her books include "Boosting Your Baby's Brain Power"; "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More"; "It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence"; "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons"; and, "Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year." Upcoming books include "Chicken Soup for the Soul: All in the Family," "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Women," and "Moms of Multiples' Devotions to Go." Susan's articles and essays have appeared in many books, magazines and Web sites. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. Susan lives with her husband and four sons (two teenagers and twin grade-schoolers) in Florida.

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