How to identify kids talent

Let’s be real honest. Prior to having children we had traits in mind for them we wanted them to possess. I am not afraid to say that I imagined having a little girl who inherited all of my talents and looks. In my fantasies, my daughter would be beautiful and she would have the good qualities of both my husband and me. None of our faults would be passed onto her. She would be absolutely perfect.

Clearly I was living in a fantasy world. I never even had a daughter. Instead I was blessed with three crazy boys. I wasn’t completely wrong, they did inherit traits from both of us – which is pretty much a given. My oldest inherited my ability to sing and he acquired my husband’s math skills. Our middle child is all boy and has my husband’s genetic disposition to take risks. He is constantly jumping off of things he shouldn’t be and has a love for dirt bikes. Our youngest has my gentle nature and my husband’s sense of logic.

As I have watched them grow, I have had to alter the way in which I parent. Each one of them comes with their own guidelines. Luckily, life really isn’t fair. So when I punish my oldest for losing his cool but have a calm conversation with my youngest over the same behavior I have a go-to line.

I have found that nurturing them to become the young men I know they are capable of being I have to take all parts of them into consideration. My oldest is 15. He just finished his first year of high school and his future has become the main focus of our conversations. He is easily annoyed by the topic, but I find it imperative.

Just yesterday we had one of these talks that he eagerly tried to avoid. Nope, not in my house… He will talk to me when I want him too and he will listen when I need to talk. I asked him a simple question (or at least it should have been). “What are your strengths?” The response was something like “IDK”… Yeah he was too lazy to say “I don’t Know.” He spoke to me in text lingo and I really am not sure how I feel about it.

So, of course, I had to start naming things he was good at. We talked about his gift for numbers and anything science. I may have been talking to a brick wall at this point. He shrugs his shoulders and said something along the lines of “I guess.” Then we spoke briefly about his musical abilities and the fact that young kids are drawn to him.

Finally, he asked where I was trying to go with the conversation. Perfect opportunity for me to pull out my excel spread of the different careers he should research. First, I showed him a website where he may receive direct help finding jobs in engineering. I told him that with his math and science skills could directly apply to engineering – leading to a great potential career path. Not to mention there are so many sub-cultures in that field, it seemed like a natural fit. We then went onto jobs in music education or any form of education for that matter.

He may have retained the information, though he didn’t seem interested. I feel like that is the teenage way. He is a good boy and achieves academic success which tells me he cares a little more about his future than he leads me to believe.

Now, it’s time to show my other two there will be other career directions in which I point them. Luckily, I have a few more years to study them before pushing them to achieve success that will come easy for them.

The point of this rant is – when you become a mother you have to quickly get rid of your dream child and accept your actual child. We have to lead them in the direction that is suited for them.

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