Did I Die Yet? (#7)

During the transfusion my body kept trying to fall asleep but I wouldn’t succumb. If I shut my eyes I had no guarantee that I’d be able to open them again.

Lying in bed, soaking up blood that belonged to a stranger, I was shaking all over again. I was cold, nervous, and terrified. My mom hadn’t been around for the emergencies that took place the night before. In fact she didn’t even know what was going on. The day before when she’d left the hospital everything was fine. When I called her crying and after the fact, she was furious that nobody had called her earlier. She had a few words with the staff at the hospital because as she put it, “I was still a minor.”

After what seemed like days, the blood transfusion was deemed successful. I was happy because I wasn’t sure that my eyelids could stay open any longer without staying that way permanently. Sure that I would be able to open my eyes again, I fell fast asleep.

I was still sleeping when the nurse buzzed me and said I had a visitor. I said I didn’t want any visitors because I had just been to hell and back. She told me it was Melissa, and I said she could come in. When Melissa walked through the door, she wasn’t the Melissa I was expecting. The Melissa I was expecting had grown a belly with me over the past 9 months. The Melissa I was expecting was also a teen mom and she understood everything I was going through. The Melissa I was expecting had her baby just two nights before and I wasn’t embarrassed for her to see me because she probably looked just as bad. It was a different Melissa. A Melissa that I didn’t want to see me in that condition because she wasn’t a teenage mom like me and I was afraid she would just think I was fat and ugly. I was afraid what she might say to the other kids at our school.

Nevertheless I smiled as big as I could with my swollen face and told her to come on in.

I explained to her that I just had a blood transfusion and she gave me a hand mirror. I hadn’t seen myself since a day or two before and I almost threw up. My face was bruised and swollen. I thought my vision was just blurry but when I looked in that mirror I realized that my eyes were almost swollen shut, and that was the reason I could hardly see. I looked like I had been beaten with a baseball bat. And once I knew what I really looked like, I was mortified for her to see me that way. She had the grace to only stay for a few minutes though (I guess she could see what kind of pain I was in). After she left, even though I was embarrassed, I was glad that she came in to see me. She was one of the few people from school that cared enough to take time out of her social life to come visit me.

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